Day nine....Anger

Today started out normal, just dealing with the little stresses of life. But for some reason little stresses build up in me so fast that they become huge depression cycles.

If I felt useless at this moment I would know what to do, clean the kitchen or take the dog for a walk, but feeling helpless is so much harder to manage...I see all the clutter in my house and all the little damages here and there, how my cat eats drywall and how my a/c is now broken which makes it so we have to sleep in the living room....none of these things seem like a big deal until you sit down and recount all of them at once. Soon misery sets in and all that's left of you is a sniveling heap of nothingness.

I was feeling so happy with this week. Preparing for college again and looking for a job, but I don't want a job, I  want to work with my boyfriend in construction and feel pride in what I do.

Money is always the issue....never enough money. Whoever said money isn't everything was clearly rich....Nothing is good enough or easy enough. So what are we supposed to do....?

I'm applying for a job tomorrow, putting my "wants" behind me and probably going to cry myself to sleep....

This is day 9 of the rest of my life.....hope something good falls out of the sky soon......