Day one....New Beginnings

After some soul searching last night, the morning proved to be easier to enter. I woke up only to realize I had slept for 10 hours. I haven't slept through the night in weeks.

Needless to say, I was very happy.

I still have twinges in my stomach when I look at my computer and think about all the avoidable problems cell phones and the internet have caused....

When he left I had the uncontrollable urge to change something about who I am. I dyed my hair two days ago, so that wasn't an option... being broke removes the temptation for new piercings or tattoos. Not very many ideas floating around in my head. Body modification has always been my way of dealing with emotional pain. Like physical scars will heal psychological ones. I'm so antsy, all I want to do is create something to make myself feel an ounce of pride. Even if that thing receives scoffs from others.

The idea came from a conversation I had with a good friend of mine. It was so obvious. I've said it a million times, but never REALLY wanted to implement it. I can talk about changing myself for the better and taking care of myself, but it's all just words until you finally give in and work to make yourself better.

I feel that this blog will give me the push I need to keep going. When I feel myself slipping back into my old ways I can look at the computer screen and see how my thought and ideas are out there for everyone to see. I don't want to lie to the world so I have no choice but to continue on my journey.

My friend gave me the name Project IGTGST, I'm Going To Get Shit Together. I'm working on an easier way to say it, but its a great idea. Getting my life straight and documenting my quest will give me the sense of accomplishment I've been seeking for years. I just hope it works this time....


This is day one of the rest of my life....

7/10/2011